Dual....:-)
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
