During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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