they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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