she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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