she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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