yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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