I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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