Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
