I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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