her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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