We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
