Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
