Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
