Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She's the barista slut.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
