I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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