i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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