Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
