I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
