she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
