Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
