People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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