too bad you live with your parents still
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
