I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
