Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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