Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
