yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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