What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
