she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
