just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
