worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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