i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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