I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
