I think my vagina is haunted
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
