I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
