We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
