Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
