Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
