She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
