i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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