So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
