his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
