Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
