another moral hangover. fuck.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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