In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The best revenge is premature balding
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
