Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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