thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
