Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
