On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
