walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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