____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
