that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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