Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
