My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
