btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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